Implausible story No.13


Meeting at the Home Office (mid-June 2003)

Is everyone here?

Number from the left... on my mark.


One Mr.Home Secretary

Two Mr.Home secretary

Three Mr.Home Secretary

Four Mr.Home Secretary

Five Meesterr Home Seceretery

Good... then we're all here. Thank you all for coming at short notice.

Funny thing I could have sworn I only invited four?

Anyway the more the merrier as they say… ho ho ho.


Quiet Rover!

Good morning gentlemen. I've called this meeting to try and find out how that comedian chappie managed to breach my security cordon at Windsor Castle.

May I open the meeting and ask if anyone has the slightest idea that may shed light on what happened?

Yes.. Home secretary.

Who's that?

It's your PPS sir.

Oh yes, go on Eustace…

Well as it was a fancy dress do, I imagine Special Branch let anyone in that wasn't wearing a suit Sir.

They must have been very confused as it's usually the other way round.

I think they'd been told fancy dress was compulsory, so if anyone wasn't wearing a suit they let them in.

Well what about this chappie dressed as Bin Laden. He wasn't wearing a suit and they let him in.. is that why?

Yes Mr.Home Secretary…

Who's that?

Me Sir. I'm the MI6 chap you invited.

Oh so it is. Carry on Reginald.

Well I have it on the best authority that the officer on the door indeed asked the comedian chappie for his invitation card but he said that, as his fancy dress didn't have any pockets, he hadn't actually brought it with him.

Well? What did the officer do?

He let him in Sir. The gentleman said he was a Personal Friend of HRH and he said he'd have him sorted out if he didn't let him in.

So he got in without an invitation?

Yes Sir.

Oh I suppose we can't really blame the officer. After all he's only human isn't he.

I suppose that's all I need to know then?


Who's that?

Meester Bin Laden Sirrah.


Carry on Ben, if there's anything you can add it may help… you never know.

I'm most upset Sirrah. I think that comedian chappie should be pursecooted by the law for mis-representation.

Woof woof woof!

What's that Ben?

Trying to make out that I'm a comeedian. I'm nothing of the sort. I'm verry annoyed.

Woof woof woof!

Rover.. down boy… down.. I don't understand.

Malcolm make a note of what Ben said and we'll call another meeting next week.


Any other business before I take Rover for his walk?

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