I started my small repair business ages ago, from
memory (which gets worse each year) was 1996.
To begin it I popped into our local tax office in
Bournemouth and discussed starting my business with a friendly
tax chap who told me how to go about what I needed to do... which
resulted in "Self-Assessment". Each financial year
I worked out how much money I'd received and added up my expenses
then filled in the appropriate forms, later on-line and I was
taxed. Eventually I reached retirement age (65) but as I enjoyed
my job I carried on until I decided that I'd had enough and so,
in March 2023 at 80 went on-line to fill in the appropriate forms.
Alas the form didn't make sense. The questions didn't
actually cater for my circumstances so I rang HMRC to ask how
I should go about retiring. Not straightforward however because
it wasn't possible to get through to anyone, no doubt because
HMRC was having a "very very" busy time (it was close
to the end of the tax year), so I decided to wait because it
didn't really matter, and I just carried on repairing things,
but at a reduced rate ("this will be my last repair for
you because I'm retiring", I told my customers).
About six months later my wife suggested I officially
retire and, as it wasn't close to a new financial year, .. no
problem as HMRC wouldn't be "very very" busy.
So, now 81 and still officially self-employed in September
2023, I logged onto the HMRC webpage and found the form for retiring.
I'm not completely sure, but I think it's a different form to
that back in March.
Finding the right form hadn't been straightforward
as it wasn't an option on the Self Assessment pages, but a search
soon pointed me to the right HMRC webpage.
Filling in half the form was easy but not the other
part as it requested our previous address. Bearing in mind we
moved from there in 1985 the details were a bit sketchy... so
I had to discover the address. Fortunately our house had been
the birthplace of Lady Hamilton so was fairly easy to find on
the Net (Swan Cottage in Ness). I filled in the details with
the road name and post code and continued to fill in the form.
The form was now complete and I pressed "Next"
with my mouse. The page disappeared and was replaced by the HMRC
"Sign-In" page. I clicked "Continue" and
there was the retirement form... alas completely empty. Had the
form been presented to HMRC or had a computer just swallowed
it? Bearing in mind most government computers don't work properly
I imagined my completed form had disappeared into a black hole.
I hunted around and found the HMRC phone number. After
pressing loads of keypad numbers I was directed to the correct
line where a ladies voice kept telling me things I didn't really
need to know but I should "hold on". After 10 minutes
(our phone tells me this) the music stopped and, after a click...
the line went dead. The phone battery was fine as the time kept
increasing so I shouted "hello" but, after a further
2 minutes of shouting hello, I hung up.
Next, I looked on the Net for an alternative phone
number and sure enough there was a different one. This one seemed
to bypass lots of the previous key presses. I pressed the appropriate
numbers quoted by a ladies voice and was pleased to hear a ringing
noise.. but this was followed by another? lady saying HMRC was
incredibly and even stupendously busy (or words to that effect)
and I'd have to wait for a minimum of 30 minutes.
Unfortunately I no longer have a plug-in landline
phone.. just a Gigaset wireless type whose battery wouldn't last
yet another 30 minutes plus so I hung up.
What can I do? Maybe make a Complaint? I found the
method.. a long-winded form on the HMRC webpages and laboriously
filled it in. All went fine and a confirmation email duly arrived
(I'd taken care to fill in that part of the form to avoid the
computer black hole). The email was re-assuring but the advice,
just as I'd submitted my complaint, had said I'd have to wait
a month for their response to my complaint.***
So I'm still probably? (officially) self employed...
Bear in mind that last years accounts are due before
January 2024 and the accounts for the small amount of work for
2023-2024 will be due before January 2025. Will the forms allow
for this or will "official" self assessment drag on
to the latter date??
Getting older is something everyone starts to notice
eventually. For example, anyone driving in the UK needs to re-apply
for their license every few years once they reach the age of
70. No real problem because the government has ones picture if
you have a passport and a new license just gets granted automatically
if you're in fair to middling health. Oddly my eyesight has improved
and I no longer need glasses to read a number plate, but sadly,
because of inept or lazy programming, once you declare you wear
glasses you're stuck with this forever. So, unless you say "yes"..
no new license to drive, so you have to fib. Do you need glasses
etc... answer no = no license.... yes = new license.
Now the big problem. Ageism. If you need to hire a
car not all insurers will oblige because the government in its
wisdom (or more than likely bribed in some obtuse way = lobbying
plus free tickets to your favourite football team) allowed ageism
to rule. Forget about your 21 years no claim bonus and clean
63 years driving.. you're a severe risk to other motorists! Some
say no to over 75s and others no to over 80s. I'm in the latter
group and have just been told my campervan cannot be insured.
We only do less than 1,000 miles per year but a tree
might fall on our van and of course we need insurance to drive
it on public roads. I tried all the usual web searchers and the
Camping and Caravan Club. The latter of which we are members
proclaim a discount for members wishing to insure their campervans..
but alas NOT if youre getting on in years! I also tried their
competitors the Caravan and Motorhome club and was pleasantly
surprised to get a decent quote (albeit over £100 more
than last year .. £296 compared with £190). So..
we went with them, only to discover we needed a membership number..
so I took the line of least resistance, joined the club and forwarded
the number plus my 21 years NCD.
Are we going to renew our membership of the Camping
and Caravan Club? I doubt it!
Hire cars are also verboten to us decrepit pensioners
unless you pay in advance a deposit whose sum almost amounts
to buying the car.. forget about TUIs "hire a car for as
little as £9 per day"
If I have time I'd like to complain to my MP about
the exclusions in the Equality Act.. but I'm a bit busy as my
retirement isn't yet quite complete with a lift engineer on his
way to see me... not that fussy I said £300 and he said
"great.. carry on". It took all of 20 minutes! Maybe
I should bash on after all....
***
Post script: December 2023
A nice chap from the Inland Revenue rang to say
how sorry he was to hear of my continuing undesired self-employment.
He explained that my difficulties were because the Self-Assessment
phone number was no more. It had been taken away (much to his
annoyance he explained) and basically I was at the mercy of (inept)
programmers writing the web pages.
click below to see the end of the story
"No problem",
he said, "once you've entered your accounts (before the
end of January 2024, just call me on this number", which
I wrote down on a piece of paper (hopefully not lost), "and
I'll handle your retirement personally".
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