Totally imaginary Special Meeting at Number Ten
Deputy PM, be a good chap and pour the
coffee and pass round the biscuits.
Clink of cups and crunching of digestives...
Well done old chap, we'll soon get you
house trained ha ha ha...
Now this morning's meeting is to discuss my new car.
When I say discuss I don't really mean talk about it, I mean
agree with me that I need it.
The leader of our party has to look important and now that the
old Jag has failed its MoT it's a good opportunity to get a proper
I'm easy. Not particularly in mind of anything you know.
A Roller is OK but a Bentley would be quite adequate.
But PM you know how the Treasury is
always whingeing about our expenses.
Wouldn't a Roller be a bit extravagant?
Are you saying that your leader doesn't
deserve a new car?
No PM I just mean it may look bad spending
loads of money.
What if I park it round the corner and
walk to number ten?
That's a good idea PM.
It'll look like you're on an economy drive
ho ho didn't
mean to make a pun PM.
What if it's raining PM? You don't want
to get wet.
Quite right Mr Secretary of the Environment.
I think you're getting to grips with your new job rather well.
Let's look for a big cut and we'll use
that to make the public think we're really saving money.
Champion idea PM. OK lads and lasses
What about scrapping the Royal Yacht
Who was that?
Me PM, the Secretary for Trade and Industry.
Well Secretary of State for Trade and
Industry; ONE it's already been sold.
How do you think we afforded the new front door for number ten.
And TWO; think you clot. What was it
you were supposed to ask?
Remember the little chat you had with the Deputy PM before the
Oh yes I remember PM. I didn't mean
the Royal Yacht I meant the Royal Train PM.
Sorry, I couldn't read my own writing.
Quite right Jim. Jolly good idea. It
must cost loads of money. Think of all the nutty slack it must
What does it cost to run the Royal Train?
Well PM, it just so happens, purely
by coincidence, I have the exact figures.
Go on Deputy PM.
It costs £42 per mile PM.
Golly gosh. As much as that!
What are the alternatives Deputy PM?
Well I just happen to have a list of
options, purely by coincidence PM.
First there's a free bus pass. HM is quite entitled to one you
That's going a bit far Deputy PM.
OK PM.. I've got it
What a brilliant idea Deputy PM.
Take it to the garage round the corner
tomorrow and slip the MoT tester a few quid to get it through.
Righto PM consider it done.
Now back to my new Bentley.
Has anyone got a brochure?
Not all at once!
For goodness sake just sit down and pass them round the table.
Any more coffee left Deputy PM?
And pass the chocolate biscuits.